I'm sorry

Hey its been awhile since the last time I wrote in my blog. Ive been busy lately due to my assignments and works. Plus for the past couple of months, my heart been knocked by someone who I rather consider as friend. So today, I suddenly feel like want to write something about it. Therefore, the title of today's blog is Confuse Junction. Why I choose such title? Well I'm gonna elaborate further..

Actually Ive a girlfriend. She's nice, friendly, talkative at times, lovely but a bit bad temper (I mean mostly). And now I'm quite close to someone who is my friend. A female friend of course. We talked and shared our stories together, and I feel very comfortable on her. But the problem is, I developed feelings towards her. And I dont know whether the feelings are based on 'just like' or love.

To tell you the truth, me and my girl are having bad time. I feel boring with her, I feel empty. Each time I go on a date, well not actually a date- I would considered it as meeting. We never discuss anything much about our relationship. And each time I want to talk about our relationship..she's like avoiding it by changing the topic into more general subject. Such as work, summons, bills, work, eat, about colleague etc..

We sometime go out for movie, but out outing program is just an outing program to kill the time. I know for a fact, that she enjoys every single time spend with me. But for myself, I feel like Im forcing myself..My mind and soul is not there. I'm just like a walking zombie. I just dont know for how long I should be with her.

Im just too scared to tell about my emptiness feeling. I'm scared to admit to her. I've made so many promises towards her, so many things! But now I finally realize that all those are just words. I cant fulfill that promises. I just couldn't make it happen. Is not that I didn't try, but I just can't..

I'm sorry..I'm sorry because I can't fulfill it.

Incurred

Last night I cant really sleep. This is because my mind was busy thinking about my debt incurred. As I wrote previously I just bought bicycle which cost me RM2800!! My citibank credit card still owing RM3100..sigh I just dont and do not know how to settle of that awful citibank.

So today Im going to submit my monthly reimbursement claims. Not much actually but Im thinking to use that claim to pay-off my citibanks. Besides that I still owe Bank Rakyat for my personal loan. That Bank FUCKING Rakyat really got on my neck. Every month auto deduction of RM332.70 for seven FUCKING years since 2005. With that amount I can purchased Levi's or Guess every month and open a jeans shop..at least I can make some extra profits. But hey people make mistake..

Yesterday, I ride my bike..not that far though. Only 3kms, but Im already sweating like mad. I tried to climb a steep hill. So today Im going to try it again see how it goes

Matts TFS XC 400-D

See the title above? What does it indicates to? Yeah I just bought a Mountainbike (MTB) which cost me RM2800. Its kinda expensive to me, but to some its kinda cheap specially among the pros.

The reason of buying is to make up a new healthy hobby for myself. Ive been going through on each blogs of malaysian MTB's cyclist..I must admit they are pros.

Anyway last nite i tested my bike..i tried to ride and i was pretty off balance maybe its been more then 10 years since the last time I cycle. So im kinda find the balance..The bike is pretty light but im not sure the weight maybe around 14kg.

Logitech G-9

I just bought the new logitech G-9 mouse. Previously I used to have Sidewinder X5, its a bit bulky and it has fat on the rear side at your palm. To me sidewinder was for people who has big palm. As for myself, I rather used small mouse as I feel more comfortable that way.

The Logitech G-9 cost me RM279 and swipe it my credit cards hehehe and there is 2% charge on it so it causes to RM284. So there you go..incurred my debts again. The purpose of buying G9 was because to be more accurate in sniping game..


silly isn't it?? dont u think??

English Writting

Hi everyone welcome to my blog. I dont really know what to write actually, but I do feel like writting something just to fill up my free time. Before I begin to write on other issues, mainly about my activities let me start up with this subject "English Writting". I'll try my very best to write in english because it is more universal language plus it can easily be understandable to majority of people who accidently came across to my blogs.

First of all, Im not good writers and my english is not that good as well. But I will try my very best to write it in english and I hope you can understand. At the moment I will also try to use a very simple english so that any tom and dick can understand what Im trying to elaborate or say.

I hope you as the readers will spend good time while observing my blog. I also welcomed any comments be it in positives or negatives one. Should any faul languages being used, dont worry I wouldn't mind at all.

Let me begin by introducing to you about my goodself. I'm roggonox a.k.a Sunrize. Yes it is just a nicknamed and I oftenly used this name in my online games. It is obvious that my hobby is playing online games such as Counter-Strike Condition Zero & 1.6, diablo I & II, starcraft, torchlight (2009), Left 4 Dead I & II, Team Fotress II, and Star Wars Knight of the Old Republic. I also play PS III but that fancy.

Currently I dont have any other interest except for online games. I dont really involves in politics but I do followed current issues. Besides that, I also go to clubs to have some fun and relaxing. But Im trying to cut down on that, as it has consumed so much of spending and expenses. Therefore I'll try to find another interest that can help me to avoid clubbing.

As you all can see, my title of the blog is Counting on my debts. Well actually, Im in a financial constrain. This is because due to the Bank Rakyat personel loan that I took several years back in 2005. Ive to bare the monthly deduction of RM332.70 from my personel account for seven freakin years. I also have to fork out another RM460 for hire purchase of my vehicles and my credit cards debt is running at RM6k...holy shit Im really in trouble..

So there you go about myself..hope you guys enjoy reading my blog. Thankyou and have a pleasent reading..