I'm sorry

Hey its been awhile since the last time I wrote in my blog. Ive been busy lately due to my assignments and works. Plus for the past couple of months, my heart been knocked by someone who I rather consider as friend. So today, I suddenly feel like want to write something about it. Therefore, the title of today's blog is Confuse Junction. Why I choose such title? Well I'm gonna elaborate further..

Actually Ive a girlfriend. She's nice, friendly, talkative at times, lovely but a bit bad temper (I mean mostly). And now I'm quite close to someone who is my friend. A female friend of course. We talked and shared our stories together, and I feel very comfortable on her. But the problem is, I developed feelings towards her. And I dont know whether the feelings are based on 'just like' or love.

To tell you the truth, me and my girl are having bad time. I feel boring with her, I feel empty. Each time I go on a date, well not actually a date- I would considered it as meeting. We never discuss anything much about our relationship. And each time I want to talk about our relationship..she's like avoiding it by changing the topic into more general subject. Such as work, summons, bills, work, eat, about colleague etc..

We sometime go out for movie, but out outing program is just an outing program to kill the time. I know for a fact, that she enjoys every single time spend with me. But for myself, I feel like Im forcing myself..My mind and soul is not there. I'm just like a walking zombie. I just dont know for how long I should be with her.

Im just too scared to tell about my emptiness feeling. I'm scared to admit to her. I've made so many promises towards her, so many things! But now I finally realize that all those are just words. I cant fulfill that promises. I just couldn't make it happen. Is not that I didn't try, but I just can't..

I'm sorry..I'm sorry because I can't fulfill it.